The Urinal in Between: Bathroom Etiquette in The Mezzanine

        Bathroom etiquette in The Mezzanine at large is still common place in modern (pre-corona) day and age, however some details have changed. The men's bathroom is full of unspoken rules that you pick up on throughout your growth as a respectable member of society. These rules typically follow the "treat others how you want to be treated" principle. If you want to sit on the toilet and contemplate where your life went wrong in silence, you can expect others to desire that same opportunity. If you wouldn't want someone to roll up to the urinal right next to you, forcing an awkward acknowledgement of their existence as they pull down their pants to relieve themselves, you probably shouldn't do it either. While much bathroom etiquette has survived this test of time, a couple points don't hold up so well.

    First off I'll look at the consistencies in bathroom etiquette directly mentioned by Howie starting with, in my opinion, the most important hidden in this passage on page 84: "Was I so timid that I was unable to take a simple piss two urinals down from another person". You may wonder "Ok, what is the big deal?", the big deal is TWO URINALS, never and I mean never unless absolutely necessary should you neglect to leave a urinal between you and another person peeing. This rule was in place as soon as the idea of a urinal was conceived I'm sure, and it will remain as long as the thought of a urinal exists in someones mind. Next, you don't need to acknowledge other people in the men's room ideally the perfect bathroom run will never have your eyes see another human being. Howie mentions acting as if he is oblivious to the presence of another, although he does this in a way that is outdated (more on this later), trust me this is better for everyone. You wanna talk? Take it outside. You wanna fight? Take it outside. Most everyone prefers a silent, uninterrupted bathroom trip in modern day. While Howie seems to want to be alone in the bathroom this is where some inconsistencies arise between his age and modern day.  

    One of the key philosophies of the modern bathroom is SILENCE, this doesn't not hold true in Howie's dated bathroom experience. Howie's bathroom runs contain frequent whistling, which he finds acceptable (going as far as to whistle himself). This is a no-no. Howie also brings up conversations that were had in the bathroom, conversations are not acceptable, maybe a passing word or two at most. Lastly, Howie tries to act as if he is unaware anyone else is in the bathroom with him. This in itself is not a crime in fact I would personally recommend it. The bathroom is my bathroom and I keep it to myself. But the way he goes about this is violently clearing his throat. This is a frequent difference between generations. You will notice older fellas clear their throats, but not the younglings. Is it our youthful bodies, leaving us without the need to clear our throats? Maybe. Is it the gap in our generational culture? Maybe. It seems that some people never adapted to the new bathroom culture and stayed stuck in Howie's culture.

    What prompted these changes in the men's bathroom? It could be our generations fear of social interaction. Maybe the fact that many of us have something playing in our ears at all times and simply want to vibe in peace. We can't know for sure why things changed but they did. But I can say for sure that the most important rule of urinal etiquette has stayed the same, and that's enough for me.